My Kid Talks to Strangers
Owen likes to talk, he'll seize any opportunity to chatter away to an attentive physically present audience. Generally, he'll ramble on about his various bumps, bruises, and misadventures. Most stories start with the words "Well, you know what??" or "Guess what happened to my knee!". Then, he bombards the poor soul he's just cornered with a story that may only be interesting to him. One of those 'you had to be there' tales. Owen's articulate and social, and I'm not just saying that because he's my kid. He's always been a communicative guy, happy to reach out and connect with the people around him. As he's gotten older, he's four now, I've started thinking (and stressing) about Owen's view of the world around him. He thinks that everyone is good and kind. He's sure that everyone wants to engage with him, and he confidently strikes up conversation. I love that confidence in him and I'm hopeful that, as he grows up, he'll become better at noticing when a story is falling flat. Sometimes it's just better to say "I was rambling, sorry...let's talk about something else".
I want him to continue to be articulate, social and confident. Those are the traits that will really benefit him later in life. To be honest, I think that people skills are more useful than academic success. Who cares if you've made the honor roll if you can't hold your own in an interview?
More than anything, I want him to be safe. When I think about my boys, it's easy to launch myself into a pit of anxiety. I have to try very hard not to think of the terrible (and sometimes far-fetched) things that could happen to them. When Owen was a newborn, I used to lie awake at night worrying that a raccoon could get in through his bedroom window to maul him. Ridiculous, right? I must've checked that window a thousand times. The sad truth is that while raccoons may not be a threat, people just might be.
How do I encourage Owen's natural confidence with people while, at the same time, teach him that not everyone has good intentions? How do I encourage him to be interested in the world, to be adventurous and curious while teaching him to be cautious too? How do I strike a perfect balance in order to keep him safe without thwarting the character that he is? I was never like Owen, never so worry-free. I would never have strayed too far from my mother, I would never have offered to stay in the car while she nipped into a store. I always predicted that I'd be kidnapped and tossed down the stairs to a dark basement by the time she'd paid for her can of soup. I'm still that kid and I don't want to hand that mistrust down to Owen. I don't want to cost him his innocent belief that the world is full of good people. Really, for the most part, it is. I know that to be true. While Tim and I struggled to hoist his new toolbox into the trunk of our car last weekend, a stranger came over to lend a hand. We thanked him for his help and went on our way. When Simon's hat slipped off our stroller and I walked on without noticing, it was a stranger who ran after us to reunite us with the hat. I thanked her for her help and we went on our way.
Maybe the secret is in allowing Owen to know about the risks, the dangers, the horrors that can happen BUT also making sure that he sees more of the goodness than the evil. Maybe for every warning about the world that I give him, I have to remind him of four wonderful things out there. Is that it? Is that the balance?!
Oh.I was rambling. Sorry...let's talk about something else.
I want him to continue to be articulate, social and confident. Those are the traits that will really benefit him later in life. To be honest, I think that people skills are more useful than academic success. Who cares if you've made the honor roll if you can't hold your own in an interview?
More than anything, I want him to be safe. When I think about my boys, it's easy to launch myself into a pit of anxiety. I have to try very hard not to think of the terrible (and sometimes far-fetched) things that could happen to them. When Owen was a newborn, I used to lie awake at night worrying that a raccoon could get in through his bedroom window to maul him. Ridiculous, right? I must've checked that window a thousand times. The sad truth is that while raccoons may not be a threat, people just might be.
How do I encourage Owen's natural confidence with people while, at the same time, teach him that not everyone has good intentions? How do I encourage him to be interested in the world, to be adventurous and curious while teaching him to be cautious too? How do I strike a perfect balance in order to keep him safe without thwarting the character that he is? I was never like Owen, never so worry-free. I would never have strayed too far from my mother, I would never have offered to stay in the car while she nipped into a store. I always predicted that I'd be kidnapped and tossed down the stairs to a dark basement by the time she'd paid for her can of soup. I'm still that kid and I don't want to hand that mistrust down to Owen. I don't want to cost him his innocent belief that the world is full of good people. Really, for the most part, it is. I know that to be true. While Tim and I struggled to hoist his new toolbox into the trunk of our car last weekend, a stranger came over to lend a hand. We thanked him for his help and went on our way. When Simon's hat slipped off our stroller and I walked on without noticing, it was a stranger who ran after us to reunite us with the hat. I thanked her for her help and we went on our way.
Maybe the secret is in allowing Owen to know about the risks, the dangers, the horrors that can happen BUT also making sure that he sees more of the goodness than the evil. Maybe for every warning about the world that I give him, I have to remind him of four wonderful things out there. Is that it? Is that the balance?!
Oh.I was rambling. Sorry...let's talk about something else.
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