Notes from the Blue House

When Owen was a blob, just a slobbery, wriggly infant happy to lie on the floor and stare at a light fixture, I discovered that I was a terrible mother because I'd overlooked the 'must-have' toy for his age group. "He doesn't have a Sophie?!" a girlfriend gasped with concern. A glorified dog toy at a whopping $20, it even made a pathetic squeak not unlike Berkley's toy bone. Ah, but Sophie is crafted with love in some ramshackle French factory. A beautiful giraffe hand painted with healthy, non-toxic, vegetable based paints sure to nourish your growing blob while he gums sweet Sophie's face off. I knew I was a sucker for the hype as I placed it in my shopping cart. I knew I was a dork when I put it on the cashier's conveyor belt and handed her my debit card. I felt like a schmuck when I put it in the car and brought it home, but I couldn't have the rest of the mamas at our "mommy & music" playgroup see that poor Owen was going wit

I've been reluctant to write about Maggie's birth for a couple of reasons. Mainly, I don't want to come across as a sanctimonious twat, looking for a big ole' pat on the back for birthing naturally. Let me reiterate my position on birth: to each their own. Every experience is unique and there are countless reasons for making one choice over another. What's best for me may not be best for you, let's agree to remove all judgement from this incredibly personal experience. How you birth doesn't make you a good or a bad mother. It's my hope that a pregnant woman might stumble upon this birth story while searching "home birth" in Google. We all know there's no shortage of terrifying, negative tales of surviving birth and I hope to toss one positive story into the blogosphere to counter them. Heads up, this post contains a photo of Maggie's birth. Don't worry, it's not a photo of my hoo-haw-I'm not insane in the membrane. However,

I thought it was kind of cute. Albeit a strange place for a dimple, but dimples are cute no matter where they're found. Am I right?! Tim was the first to notice the small dimple on her lower back. It's possible that his family's history with spina bifida and pilonidal disease made him hyper aware, his keen eyes were the first to spot that cute little dimple just minutes after her birth. I was just snuggling into my bed and praising the universe for the miracle of my daughter's safe, speedy, wonderful arrival on the planet. I was in a state of euphoria when I heard Tim mention the dimple casually to our midwife. She assured us that it was nothing. It's shallow so it's nothing more that a cute lil butt dimple and with that good news, we settled into what would be days of endless cuddling. Two months later, I took our girl to her first visit with our family doctor. In the waiting room, I met another mom and her lovely, happy, bouncing baby girl. This woman told

To whoever compiled this slideshow of crap, I don't like you. We wouldn't be friends. http://www.parentdish.ca/2013/09/02/10-parents-we-all-recognize-and-might-want-to-avoid/#!slide=992036 I assume you don't have kids because if you did, you'd get that parenting opens you up to the quiet judgement and side-ways glances of others. Thanks for this mean-spirited, judgmental slideshow. By trying to pigeon hole us into these categories, you've displayed both nastiness and a false sense of persecution in just 10 juvenile slides. Congratulations, I guess. I'm a mixture of these parents that you suggest others should avoid. I'm the "Earth Mother" because I rocked a drug-free homebirth and I don't feel I need to justify that choice to anyone. I'm the "Pop-Psychologist" because I love me some Barbara Colorosso. You're suggesting that we shouldn't even try to educate and improve ourselves by reading parenting books because it&#

It's been awhile, eh? In all honesty, life's been busy and I couldn't bear to open up a startlingly white blank page without having an idea of what I wanted to say. Then I read this article...and I had shit to say. Check it out, otherwise my ramblings won't make a lick of sense. Go ahead, click on the link. I'll wait here. http://nymag.com/news/features/retro-wife-2013-3/ Done? Great. Here goes. Firstly, there's nothing wrong with a woman choosing to leave her career to stay at home with her children. Just as there's nothing wrong with eagerly handing your wiggly, poop soiled child off to a daycare provider so that you can return to what feels good to you-work. When will we stop judging each other for choices that are personal and unique to each family? Being in a position to opt-out of working is very fortunate, not all families can swing that. The subject of this article, Kelly, makes some pretty broad assumptions about men and women. I say "bro

With baby number three only a couple of months away, I've been reflecting on what I've learned after spending five years in the muthahood. Admittedly, I'm no expert and I don't doubt that there are countless discoveries waiting for me as I start from scratch with another babe. I'm excited to see which moments have me thinking 'well, that's different' or 'I didn't see that coming.' That's what keeps life interesting. Here's what I've figured out so far. 1. You may very well poop while you push. No, it doesn't happen on T.V. sitcoms or Hollywood movies. Those coiffed and spray-tanned women are the picture of dignity and serenity as their babies are handed to them but it happens in real life. Here's the best part, you won't even care so don't worry about it. You'll be disheveled, delirious and triumphant despite having pooped yourself only moments earlier. 2. A baby's umbilical cord will make you wince. It

"Wow. Yep, this is happening", I thought as I stared squinty-eyed at that faint second line on the dollar store pregnancy test. With each passing day, that second line got darker and the realization that we would be a family of 5 in 40 short weeks began to sink in. What an amazingly joyous little secret an embryo makes. What a tough secret it is to keep though, Mother Nature is one twisted chickita. You're supposed to keep your fertilized blob under wraps until at least 12 weeks, that seems to be the generally agreed-upon rule. Ah, but it's during those early weeks that you're most likely to fall victim to public barfing-I've been there. 5 years ago, I had to casually stroll away from a splatter of vomit I left on a subway platform during rush hour. It's when you need the understanding and support of those around you the most that you're least likely to get it because you're keeping your trap shut. How many times can a girl claim to be stricken by