Confessions of a former mean girl.

I vividly remember looking at teen magazines when I was 12, getting on my knees each night and praying for God to do me a large one and wash away my freckles. I wished for straight long blonde hair, a peaches and cream complexion and an older boyfriend (preferably named, 'Zack'). Admit it, you loved "Saved by the Bell" too. Middle school was no walk in the park for a scrawny, freckled, curly-haired gal and my fondness for cowboy boots didn't help matters. Each day, when I was released from my torture chamber public school, I retreated to my driveway and bounced on a pogo ball for awhile. I jumped rope with one of those ankle thingys with a strawberry counter on the end of it. Remember?

I told my mom about the 'mean kids' and found comfort with her. Granted, it's been a couple of decades since I persevered through the social landmines of a typical public school but I'm sure it's getting worse! When my school day ended and I shlepped off that bus and into the safety of my family, I knew that I had a good solid break from the girls at school. You know, until the next morning. Here's the thing-nowadays (don't I sound like a geriatric?) nowadays, the gadgets kids are armed with keep them constantly connected. Constantly connected via instant messaging, text messaging, twitter, facebook and probably platforms I'm too old (at 30) to know about. Those 'mean girls' take up a cyber presence in the homes of the deflated and unpopular girls they've picked on all day. These gadgets not only rob them of their breathing space, they also keep them bombarded day in and day out by ads.

 Now, let me say this-I don't blame 'mean girls' for being mean. Not entirely anyways. The crap ideas about themselves that are being marketed to them is making them hate themselves. Young girls are being convinced that it's better to be pretty than smart. They're learning that they need to be a physical specimen of perfection...not too skinny. Not too fat. Must have boobies. Abercrombie and Fitch sells a padded bikni top for 8 YEAR OLD's. Super skinny jeans are available for pre-schoolers. There's no shortage of T-shirts reading "Pop my cherry" or "Jail bait". Take these little gems for example.

Now, I've been both bullied and a bully. I didn't escape 9th grade unscathed, my self-esteem was in the toilet. By 16, I saw every other girl as a threat. Clearly, they were put on the planet to make me feel ugly just by being pretty. Collaboration took a backseat to competition. Trust took a backseat to paranoia. Guess what happens when teens feel ugly, threatened and mistrustful? They look for a target. This is not a new concept, right? Shit on others to make self feel fab. My target was a sweet natured girl from another highschool. I couldn't possibly like her because she was tall, blonde, leggy and had once dated the boy I was all wrapped up in at the time. No, I never beat her up...HAHAHA..that's a hilarious thought-I'm still a pasty, scrawny girl who'd be knocked-out in 3 seconds flat. No, I battered her self-esteem the same way mine had been battered, all in a quest for some fleeting sense of superiority. Maybe this girl-on-girl abuse would happen without the impact of marketing. Maybe. Still, I'm damn sure that they aren't helping matters.

"Legal-ish"?!? "Save a Wave, Ride a surfer"?!? Really? These aren't cute...they're barf-worthy. With these kinds of messages we'll see less bright, collaborative and capable young women in the future and more backstabbing trophy wives vying for attention.