My Twisted Relationship with Facebook

I've had a bad week. One of those weeks where a daily dose of Merlot is a must. I've been brought to tears on three separate occasions this week as Owen recovers from his tonsillectomy and adnoidectomy. On a side note, am I the only one who finds it funny that the medical community refers to that surgery as a 'T&A"?  At first, Owen seemed completely unaffected by surgery. For God's sake, he was ticked off with me because I wouldn't give him corn pops the morning after! I thought we were home free. The only family on the face of the planet with a child so astoundingly amazing that he was unaffected by having his tonsils out. He's basically Superman. I was wrong. Within 48 hours, he'd taken a downturn. The moaning, the whining, the crying, the restlessness, the boredom-it's been a bummer in the Crick household this week. Once or twice, I felt my patience wearing out. I snapped at him when he asked to watch Cars 2 again, I demanded that he choose something else because I wanted to knock Lightning McQueen's headlights out. He cried, I dug my heels in and he settled on Megamind instead. I got the break I needed from the Cars franchise-it had to be done.

Aside from running over to a girlfriend's house for an hour, I haven't been out of the house in 6 solid days. I've been suffering from cabin fever, reading the same Dr.Seuss books over and over. Watching the same movie over and over. I've been envious of Tim, entering into the world of adult conversation every day. Accomplishing things at work, being noticed for his efforts. I haven't had much reason to shower and dress, I've been forcing myself  to do so in the name of hygiene.  Facebook has been one of my only assurances that the world outside of my house is still ticking along. People are still photographing their food before they eat it. They're still lamenting the commute to work. etc. I've got a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

Check out these incredible stats, I can't be the only user conflicted about Facebook!

Thanks to the rabbit hole that is Facebook, I often find that I've lost an hour flipping through photos of someone else's vacation, while I could've been making my own memories. Or, if nothing else, scrubbing last nights pots and pans. I blame Facebook for bringing out some of my worst personality traits. Nosiness, envy and narcissism. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's used Facebook to snoop on that bitchy girl from high school, 'Please let her be fat and broke!'. Hey, she's asking for it if she's got an open profile. I've found envy creeping up on me as I look at photos of friend's recent adventures. "I may never see Singapore! Waaaa waaaa! Poor me" Sometimes I catch myself updating my status with the words "Suzie Reynolds-Crick is eating a bag of salt and vinegar chips." Then I realize that no one cares about my 3pm snack. Why do I feel that the 251 people I count as 'friends' simply must know about the minutiae of my existence? How narcissistic of me. I'm sure a few of those self-absorbed status updates have slipped past me, unfiltered, so I apologize if I've bored you with one in recent months.

Then again, without Facebook I wouldn't have reconnected with a few amazing people from my past. I wouldn't have had the chance to meet them for lunch, catch up and reignite a lost friendship. Without facebook, I would feel less connected to the people in my work life, my social life, even my family overseas. Without Facebook, I'd miss out on the dose of perspective I get when my friends post so candidly, so honestly, about the struggles they've been facing. Huh-maybe a mountain of laundry isn't such a disaster when other people, not people on the news but people I actually know, are dealing with a whole lot worse. Without Facebook, I'd lose out on an opportunity to express myself. To collect and share my favourite photos with family and friends who would otherwise never see them. Without Facebook, I'd have felt the past week's isolation more deeply. The day to day chatter and activity has been reassuring while I've been trapped at home.Without Facebook, I'd never have had the inspiration to start blogging. I'd never have heard from one of my friends that she thought I had something to say. It was her suggestion that helped me to awaken this lost love for sitting down to write something. Maybe I'll write something good, something people will like. Maybe I won't. Maybe it'll be boring, mundane and people will hate it and laugh at me behind my back. That's ok-it was never for them anyways. For me, the good outweighs the bad. I've benefited more than I've suffered from the crazy world of Facebook. I won't be logging off for good any time soon, I enjoy my adventures down the rabbit hole far too much.